Tragic Sex

We've all been there. Whether it's farting in your partner's face as they're going down on you, or just not being able to get it up.. this lovely site lets you know you're not alone. Thank you.


Added to my 'Reasons I don't go out at night' list.

The dark
Black people


The other day I figured out why guys don't have vaginas. It's 'cos we'd stick shit up those things, always be permanently aroused and never leave the house. But then I figured out that if a guy had a vagina, he'd be a chick, and then I tripped balls.


Oh Summerbot ..

Summer Glau.

Apart from being every nerds fantasy, a somewhat geek herself who loves sci-fi and a goddamn ballet dancer (ooooo.. so toned and flexible), she is the hottest terminator in the history of robots. History of anything man.

Even though Sarah Connor Chronicles is a great series apart from a few slow episodes, I'd watch it even if it was as bad as Skins, just for Summer. (I fucking hate Skins btw. Bunch of hipster faggots and middle-class fucks acting out some Channel 4 execs idea of what kids are like today but totally missing the mark. If you like it, I hate you too).

But yeah, Summer Glau. Summerbot, Cameron Phillips, the terminator.. who, if you're John Connor, will do anything you ask her. Anything. Forget the idea that terminators are constantly trying to fuck you up.. you have this as your slave basically :

Fair fucking trade if you ask me.

Taking a dump in the fitting room ..

.. anyone ever done it?

Check out a lovely discussion on it started by a shop worker who found a steaming pile of shit in her fitting room at work : CLICKY.

The guy/girl who shat in a trainer and put it back on display is a legend.. bravo.

Also, this is my fourth fucking blog post in like 24 hours.. this shit is worse than Facebook. (But at least nobody I actually know can see how much of a retard I am by reading my thoughts eh?)

Cats rule

Cats are infinitely better than dogs. If you think otherwise you're retarded.

The amount of stick I get from mates and people who are like 'Uhhh.. you got cats?' is unbelievable, but truth be told, I love my cats like I love my sister. That sounds weeeeird actually, so I'll just say that I love my cats lots. <3

Anyway, I was reading some super girly but super cute 'cute' blog about cats.. which prompted this post.

Go see.


Also, next time someone says cats are for girls/faggots.. remind them that a lion is a cat and it'll fuck them up.

Clocks go forward tonight ..

.. whoever invented DST is a dick.

Things I'm liking ..

Wetherspoon's 99p pint

Literally, the best thing to happen for years. If you're like me and on a budget (read:dole), it's like having your salary doubled. Only one cask ale mind you, and it tastes like shit, but then I'd drink period blood if it was cheap and got me wasted. Only thing is, it leads to memory loss almost everytime you drink it.. or maybe I'm just getting old and can't handle my beer anymore.

Moisturiser with a HINT of self-tan

Yeeeeeeeeeeah.. before you go taking my cock back and calling me homo, think about it. Imagine a hot girl yeah.. .. now add a nice tan. Hotter still right? (If you already imagined a nice tanned bird, then you know the deal already).
Whether it's the same for men is debatable, but coming from Wales, where an inch of rain is considered summer, it's about the only way to not look paler than pale people.
& because it's not really tanning shit, just something with a HINT of tanning shit, it's acceptable for blokes. A little less embarrassing than buying diarrhea tablets or your missus' tampax or summut in Boots. The bloke who came up with it is a genius, no lie. (Bound to be a bloke 'cos women are thick).


Not like, proper terrorists and stuff, although they have great beards, but the ads they inspire. I was on the bus earlier on my way into town and I clocked this billboard : Clicky.

Nothing special about it really, except terrorists ain't gonna waste time with Wales, but I spent the rest of the journey giggling to myself and daydreaming about kids just sniffing the dregs out of the bottles and getting high. Easily amused I think.

& a special nod to the fat indie kid at the cashpoint who remarked to his mate "..that pidgeon must listen to rap music." 'Cos they nod their heads when they walk see. I lol'd anyway. So bad it was good.