I need to join one.

No more warm beer.

Holy shit yes.

Chill your beer/coke in 2 minutes.. using scienceeeeeee.

No more waiting for 'em to get cold in the frezzer, 2 minutes and you're good to go. I love clever people.

Elevator Psychology

This is just brilliant.

I always feel a bit awkward in an elevator funnily enough, but from now on I'mma try and notice these little things.


Cage's new track is sick.

Directed by his real life buddy, Shia Le Puff.

Obviously he's moved away from the hardcore rap of old, but this indie shit is awesome IMO, this track makes me wet myself in a good way.

Also, this is my 50th blog post! BOOYAH!

Prison ruins society.

A mate of mine came outta prison Monday, after serving a few months for stealing a motorbike. He's a good lad, a bit thick and easily led, but good underneath it all.

He's been in and out of prison since 15, when he made the brilliant decision to petrol bomb a policeman as he left our estate's police station,(Found an old article hurr : CLICKY), and is always getting into trouble, but deep down he's alright. I'm sure you know the type of person I mean.

Anyway, he knocks my door while I'm in the bath, is let in, and comes into the bathroom all high as a kite asking me if I want a line. It's like 11am (which is far too early for my eyes to be open, let alone have a line), so I'm like 'Nah I'm good mate, whatchu got? Good coke?'

'Nah, gear.' he says.

So I'm like whaaaaaaaat? He says schmack.

Mind = blown.

WTF man. So the stupid cunt smokes junk in my living room while I'm in the bath, I get out and give him a bollocking and he's all like 'Nah man, I only do it once in a blue moon' etc.. etc.. and I'm shot to shit mentally, 'cos I know the daft cunt is gonna turn into a junkie.

Prison man, ain't good. He was on the drug/alochol wing even, where they're supposed to sort out your addictions and shit.

He was a big cider drinker, a few litres a day, and fair play to the prison services they did manage to get him off the cider, except it's straight onto fucking heroin. Jesus christ man. I feel terrible for anyone who goes to prison and has no willpower. You go in smoking weed, come out a fucking crackhead. No doubt HMPS release some report about how they got so many inmates off weed per year, but fail to mention they just jumped ship and started recreating scenes from Trainspotting instead.

God help you if you go in a junkie. They'll probably let you OD and die and then mark you down as another guy they managed to stop from taking heroin again.


Anyone who says prison is soft, easy, or brags about going to prison is a knob. 1. You got caught. 2. You're fucking retarded.


I might have some girl up the duff.. holy shit. This ain't good at all man.

She said she'd get the morning after pill, and I was drunk and happy to fuck bareback in my drunken stupor, but man, now I'm sober I feel like shooting myself. DUMB CUNT.

I hope to God it's swine flu or summut, but morning/night sickness, a pregnancy test (negative) in her bag and just illness all over.

Been a week or so since the deed so the test could still say negative before the little bastard evolves or whatever right? I ain't got a clue tbh, I just know how to fuck and how to put on a condom, just not the two together obviously. FUCKFUFKCUFCFJSDJ

I don't like this feeling.

The tar in 400 cigarettes.

Man, I need to quit smoking.

Look at that shit.


Someone caught me while yawning, and the dude on the TV is like wtffff.

Made a cool photo.


I do have a conscience.


As much as I try and just be blahzay about everything, sometimes shit comes back and makes me realise how much of a cunt I can be.

My mate wanted to get on some bird but he didn't know her, so I jumped her best friend and shit, got us all going out as a foursome, got them hooked up, and it's all good.

Now though, I gotta fuck her off. Sounds simple, but this bird has got it bad, so much so that I've taken the piss completely and now I feel rough having to explain it to her, because she is a good person, just not yummy.

She gave me a new phone, bought me crates of beer, chinese takeaways etc.. loads and loads.. and all I did in return was nick fags off her every 2 minutes and make excuses not to have sex.

Now, tonight, my mate and her are over with beers and she's all on me, but I gotta end it.

Hard though, I never figured it'd phase me but I feel like such a cunt it's retarded. They've gone to the shop atm to get more drink, so I'm pouring my heart out to blogger.

I'm gonna have to explain it's not happening to her for sure, but it'll ruin the night.

& more importantly, she might take her phone back, then I'll be fucked. :(

Babies + Rollerskates + Rapper's Delight

= awesome.

Fcuk Evian though.

Do My Thing

Awkward Boners.

Because it's hard being a guy.

Nas is GOAT.

Disagree? You're wrong.

This is my morning hype song.

Michael Jackson Died ..

.. and he totally ruined Hitler's birthday celebration.

(Full Screen it for best results.)